America is the only land in the world that is free. Everyone else on the entire planet is stuck in constant oppressive bondage and slavery, right?
I mean isn’t America the only country in the world where…
1. You have the Freedom to Speak?
As long as you get a permit and stay inside the free speech zone and don’t say anything negative about the government on facebook if you were in the military.
2. You have Freedom to travel?
As long as you don’t travel on a road with a checkpoint and as long as you don’t have a problem going through radiation scanners at the airport and as long as you don’t mind being randomly stopped and frisked by police for walking down the side walk.
3. You have Freedom from cruel and unusual punishment?
As long as you are not providing people with farm fresh natural foods like raw milk and non-genetically mutated veggies.
4. You have Freedom to gather and petition?
5. You have Freedom of religion?
As long as you are obedient and pick one of the pre-approved churches that has already forget about what is morally right or written in scripture but remembered to get their 501(c)(3) status and collect you got it, another offering.
6. You have Freedom of the Press?
As long as you don’t report anything to the public that could potentially be considered NOT-helpful or embarrassing to the government.
7. You have absolute Freedom over your body?
8. You have Freedom from theft of your possessions?
9. You have Freedom to choose your Representatives in government?
As long as you pick one of the two choices from the two party duopoly system they are color coded to make it easy for you, just pick one, red or blue.
10. You have Freedom to bear arms and protect yourself?
As long as you don’t live in a prime trendy area that has already disarmed the public like New York, Chicago, and Washington DC.
…and there you have it, the land of the brave and the home of the Free. What could be better for you and me? #TGIF
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